Thursday, November 16, 2017

loving Jesus in your instagram bio isn't enough



“you are the light of the world. a town built on a hill cannot be hidden. neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. in the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." matthew 5:14-16


i see hundreds of pages of young women and men, from all around the world, claiming Christ in their instagram bio.

and that's great... then you actually start scrolling. 


more times that not, a person's profile contradicts their bio about Jesus.


"i am 2nd" and then posts a picture of themselves under the influence of drugs,


"in love with Jesus" and posts provocative and sensual pictures of themselves,


"God first" and cusses in every caption,


"John 3:16" and posts pictures of themselves going to the bars every weekend.


am i saying that you can't post naked pictures, pictures with drugs, or captions with explicatives and be a Christian? 

no.


i don't know your heart.


i can't tell you if your faith is genuine or not, but God can.


and he doesn't care about what took you 5 seconds to write in your bio.


He cares about how you live your life.


we are called to be the light of the world.


but we aren't called to shine our own light, we are called to reflect His.

"shining our light" shouldn't be about us and what we can do.

it should be about Jesus and what he's already done for us.

we can't reflect His light if we just put a few words on our profile--


we have to live those words out.

1 peter 2:21 says "for to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps."


Christ didn't die on the cross for you to set out mixed messages about christianity.


Christ suffered and died for you so that you can follow in His steps, and glorify Him.


the point of Jesus being made in the image of man is that we could learn by example!


Jesus knows how horrible this world is-- He lived on it for 33 years!


He knows the temptations.


the struggles.


the overwhelming amount of sin.


but nevertheless, He chose to come down to earth, suffer and die for us, that we might follow in the steps that He has taken.


maybe we're just numb to the fact that Jesus died on earth for us because it was so long ago.


but for a second, just take one second, and think about it as if it happened yesterday.


imagine that day.


nails in his hands.


His perfect blood, shed on that cross.


my Savior.


my Jesus.


my perfect King.


died on the cross that day.


and He did it for me.


He loved me so much that he, being perfect, would give up his life for me.


a weary, messy sinner.


He hasn't called me to a place of complatency. 


He didn't bleed on that cross so that i could live my life however i wanted.


do we have any idea how confusing this must be to non-believers?

i mean, if we break it down, religion is a thing that we believe and live out.


religion is part mental, part physical- you believe in God, so you obey his commands. 


it seems simple enough, right?


wrong.


we're all fallen, we all sin, and we all make mistakes.


yours are not greater than mine because we sin differently, and mine are not greater than yours because we sin differently.


but hear me when i say this--


there is a big difference in falling victim to a sinful world and feeling shameful and repenting, and celebrating your sins.


when you're showing off pictures on your social media of yourself topless, or doing drugs, or drinking every single weekend, it becomes assumed you aren't repentant of your sins.


galatians 2:20 says, "i have been crucified with Christ. it is no longer i who live, but Christ who lives in me. and the life i now live in the flesh i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."


it is no longer i who live.

the life i now live in the flesh i live by faith in the Son of God.

when we are celebrating our sins, we are not pointing others to Christ and who He is.

we can't just claim Christ- we have to live Him.


there's a quote that i love that says,

"you say you're willing to die for Christ, but are you willing to live for Him?"

i'm a firm believer that no matter straight, gay, black, white, transgender, serial killer or prachers kid, we can all be saved through Jesus.

there is room for all of us in the arms of our loving Father.

but that same loving Father only has the love he has for us because of what His son did on the cross.

“you are the light of the world. a town built on a hill cannot be hidden. neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. in the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." matthew 5:14-16

don't hold in your light.


don't celebrate your sins.


don't become numb to what living a life for Jesus looks like, just because it's so rare nowadays.


you may be the only light of Jesus someone sees.


make sure that your light is visible.




RELATED POSTS:
IS SATAN A BETTER CHRISTIAN THAN YOU?
I might look like a 5'4 college girl, but really I'm a quarterback in the NFL.
I'm sick of being told "It's ok" that I sin / My problem with wearing x's on your hands to Church

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

JOIN MY BIBLE STUDY! ♡ LIVELOVED



I LIVE LOVED, and you can too.

i've always been an "in-between" type of girl. i've never fit into just 1 group. whether it be high school, sororities, or friend groups-- i've always been that girl that didnt quite fit 1 mold. and bible studies are no exception.

i've always wanted a different type of bible study. one that lets me be myself, but also helps me grow. one that lets me put my walls down, but doesn't encourage me in my sin. one that teaches me the things  i want to know-- real life issues that college girls struggle with. one that doesn't stray away from the hard topics. one that, above all, points me to Jesus and His truths every week. and i've never found that-- so i'm creating it.


i am thrilled to announce that i am launching my very own women's bible study, liveloved! this bible study will be for samford university- inviting women of all different areas of life. 


my goal, my hope, my prayer for liveloved (LL) is that it will be a time where each week, young women from all different areas of life, can gather together and study not what the world teaches, but what God has taught. 


so, what does live loved mean? i believe that we are all loved by the King of the universe, far above what we know or understand. once we begin to realize we are loved, and are able to start to grasp just how much Jesus loves us- we are able to love ourselves, love others, and most importantly, love God more passionately.


if you know me at all, i'm not the most outgoing person. i thrive in small group settings-- speaking deeply, listening intimately. talking closely. and that's what i want for liveloved. i want LL to be a place where girls can come and share their struggles, engage in conversations, and most importantly, learn about their Savior. whether it be 5 girls or 500 (in my dreams), i want LL to be a place where you feel as if you're in that tight knit group setting. i want it to feel relaxed, intimate, and special. continue reading if you want to learn more about how Jesus put LL on my heart, or skip to the bottom for details on how you can be apart of liveloved bible study!


THE STORY OF LL

i was on a plane, 36,000 feet above the air, when God first put LL on my heart. i was passing the time on a 3 hour flight reading one my favorite books, the shack. (if you haven't already, i highly recommend reading.) as i was reading, i came across a line where God is giving someone advice on how to live. the line was 4 words and simply stated, "learning to live loved." as my eyes swept over those words, something deep inside of me felt peace. i decided to keep reading for a few minutes, but my mind kept wandering off to "live loved. " i immediately recognized that it was God speaking with me, giving me a calling.

 if you know me, i've been a blogger for almost 4 years now, and i've been praying for the Lord to lead me in whatever direction He chooses for this blog. and once i read live loved, i had my answer. the wheels immediately started turning in my mind, and the second i got home, i got out a notebook and started brainstorming. with "live loved" in the center, i started scribbling ideas for my brand. things like- instagram account, blog ideas, t shirts all started flowing from my pen to my paper, before i could even think about them. one of the things i wrote was "bible study" before i quickly moved on to the next category. it wasn't until a few days later that i would realize how important that idea was.



the journal page from the night i started brainstorming
a few days later, going back through my notes, i skimmed over what ideas i had written down. 2 little exclamation marks caught my eye, the only punctuation on the page. they were written after bible study. i chuckled to myself. 'yeah right, bible study.' although i was the one that had written it, i had never actually thought that i could lead a bible study. at least, now right now. it's my goal to be able to make a career out of encouraging women in Biblical ways and going to speaking conferences to talk to girls.. but right now? i mean, its me! i get nervous when i have to present a project in front of my class! how could i lead a group of women in God's word? but i turned my self-doubting into prayer, and decided to begin a prayer journal that night. because i'm a writer, i've often kept prayer journals to help me sort out my thoughts, but i made an entirely new one for LL. i wanted this journal to be specifically for God's plan for my life, and guidance for me to know what to do with all this information coming at me. 

and let me tell you, pray without ceasing has taken on a whole new meaning to me since that journal started. i have prayed, and prayed, and prayed for God to lead me in the direction that He wants LL to go. part of me wanted for the answer to be 'no, you don't need to start a bible study right now' because if i'm being honest, it's out of my comfort zone. i don't want to have more responsibilities than necessary for my senior year. and the thought of standing in front of women and leading them in scripture is terrifying to me. but i prayed for God to lead me, and he did. He led me here. He led me to take a step of faith. to trust Him and His timing. He led to me start liveloved.


the thing i've been the most nervous about since i officially decided to start my own bible study was 'what if i fail.' or what if no girls show up. or what if it isn't as hipster christian beautiful as i expect it to be? what if liveloved doesn't stick, and isn't successful? and the only peace of mind i've found to these questions is from none other than God himself. he reminds me in romans 8:31 "what, then, shall we say in response to these things? if God is for us, who can be against us?" and once i put my selfish desires for LL aside-- only when i put aside my own pride, when i put aside my obsession with perfection- i realize that LL may not be all i've dreamed it up to be. it may not become my career, and maybe only 2 girls will show up. but God is for me, and sharing the goodness of His word is enough.

MY HOPE FOR LIVELOVED

now, this part is to you. yes, you. i told you earlier that i started a prayer journal for LL. within it, i've prayed for peace to begin this journey, i've prayed for direction as for where to go with this ministry, and i've prayed for you. it might sound cliche, and it might sound crazy, but i whole heartily believe that God has placed you to read this for a reason. now i might not know you yet, or maybe i do. i may not have ever met you, but God knows every girl who will be at LL, and He knows if you are one of them. and i have been praying for you. i have been praying over every girl that will join my bible study from the very beginning. i've been praying for you every day. some days, i pray you will be encouraged. other days, i pray you will feel beautiful. and i pray that God would lead you to liveloved, and that you would take a chance on it. and He has, because you're here.

my prayer for you now is that you will have the courage to try something new with me. that you would take a step outside of your comfort zone and come along on this journey. that you wouldn't feel too "out of place" to come. that you would listen to God's want for you to become apart of fellowship with other girls that are wanting something a little bit different in a bible study. if any of what i have said has struck a chord with you, i pray you will have the desire to carry out your actions and join a new bible study, so you can learn just how loved you really are.


if you've read this far, i am so glad you did. i could not be more nervous, excited, and ready to get liveloved started! if you're like me and you've never found a bible study that felt just right, i would love it if you gave this a chance. it's going to be something new- (for you and for me!), and it has the opportunity to be something really special. it's going to be my first time leading- and i want it to be raw, real, and genuine meetings every. single. week. regardless if you're a freshman or a senior, a pastor's kid or a wandering believer, a sorority girl or an independent, you name it- you will be welcomed at liveloved. even if you're at a place where you don't consider yourself a believer-- this bible study is going to be about what you want to learn about- and you can hear more about that at our first meeting. ;) for now, dates and times are to be announced! i am trying to find a time that most girls will be free, since i know some of you will either be having rush practice, or going through rush. i am so excited to start this journey with you. once i have the times figured out, i will be posting it on my personal instagram and the LL account, as well as fliers spread out throughout campus. i will also be set up in ben brown a few days, so feel free to stop by and say hello! (i may or not bribe you with baked goods...) and spread the word! grab some gals, bring a blanket to sit on, and come prepared to build real, genuine community with women in Christ. i am looking so forward to our first meeting and i cannot wait to meet you!


CONTACT INFO:

when: TBA but i'm thinking mondays at 8
where: samford's quad

if you have any questions, you can reach me at :
personal instagram account-- mallorybeale
LL instagram account-- liveloveddd
email-- mbeale@samford.edu
cell-- 901-619-4316


Thursday, July 13, 2017

fearfully & wonderfully made // rooting yourself in Christ's truths-- not the world's lies





you know those girls on instagram whose pictures you're staring at till 2am? 

those girls who's lives seem  p e r f e c t 

you know who i'm talking about-- 

her posts are always flawless, 

her face doesnt have any blemishes, 

her body is perfect. 

(and she always seems to be on vacation at some island in the caribbean with flowers in her hair drinking a mimosa while maintaining 2% body fat?)

do you have those girls?

i sure do. 

and i'm betting you do, too. (thanks explore page.)

let me let you in on a funny little story. 

about a month ago i was staring at my phone, flipping through a girl's pictures. 

she was one of those girls

i wished so badly i could look like her. 

and then something funny happened. 

she texted me. 

this wasn't too out of the ordinary, because we're friends. 

you wanna know what she told me? 

"i've wanted to be able to love myself so i can love others the way i'm called to, but i just have such a hard time being okay with who i am or how i'm made or how i look."

she confided in me, telling me she has always dealt with insecurity and putting her worth in Jesus. 

she was the one that asked me to write this blog post. 

i was shocked! 

her

insecure? 

what on earth did she have to be insecure about? she was one of those girls!

but i realized something very quickly in that moment-- 

none of us are immune to insecurity. the enemy is doing his best to constantly bring us down.

insecurity is something that i deal with far, far more than i'd like to admit. 

i'm my own worst critic, and i can always pick apart myself and find something wrong with the way i look.

being a girl is tough.

but being a girl in 2017-- trying to keep up with the unrealistic beauty standards put upon us every single second of the day? well that's dang near impossible.

ladies, can i be honest with you?

i crave affirmation from others.

not only loved ones, but everyone i meet.

i crave acceptance from friends, men, people i know, people i don't know, people i know online, people i see at the gym, and even strangers.

i am obsessed with what people think about me.

i feel good about myself when someone follows me on instagram.

i'll go back to re-read the comments on my pictures.

likes make me feel better about how i look.

but at the end of the day, it's never enough.

if someone says something negative about my appearance, it ruins my week. (sticks and stones may break my bones but words will make me fall into a spiraling pit of self loathing and staying up till 2am eating ben&jerrys half baked, crying while i watch mean girls for the 348th time, wishing i was as pretty as regina george.)

if i get 10 comments on a picture, i wish i had gotten 11.

i constantly refresh my profile when i post, my eyes glued to the screen watching the heart button appear notifying me that someone out there has liked my picture, hoping that it will continue, but it 

always 


s l o w s 


d   o   w   n   .


but there's something, or someone, who makes it a heck of a lot easier being a girl.

and the affirmations and encouragement never run out.

they're never not good enough.

i'm talking about the glorious and holy words Jesus gives us in His Word.

proverbs 31:30 tells us, "beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

let's just consider something really quick.

let's just say you weren't pretty. (which is untrue because God has made everything beautiful in it's time) but let's just say you weren't.

let's say you were ugly.

people might view you differently. maybe your whole life would be different. 

but you wanna know what wouldn't be different, at all?

God's love for you, and the way He sees you.

that's because He sees us far beyond the way we see ourselves.

ephesians 2:10 states, "for we are God’s handiwork".

we're talking about the Creator of the whole freakin universe here, ladies.

everything we see-- everything we admire-- is His.

the oceans.

the galaxies. 

the valleys.

the sunsets.

the mountains.

He created them all-- but he didn't stop there.

He created you, too.

the way God made you was perfectly, beautifully, and in His image.

and just because you have a hard time seeing it, doesn't mean it's any less true.

the way i see myself is distorted-- it is through the lenses of an extremely broken and fallen world. it is lies told me to by society, by the enemy, and by myself, based upon how i look.

the way God sees me is perfectly-- it is truths wrapped up in scripture, based upon who i am. it is through the eyes of a Heavenly Father who sees more in us in a single second than anyone else will in their entire lifetime.

and it's not just me writing this to you-- it's God's word.

when the world tells you you aren't pretty enough,

God tells you, "you are altogether b e a u t i f u l , my darling; there is no flaw in you."

when the world tells you you're worthless,

God reminds you, "the Lord does not look at the things people look at. people look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

when the world tells you you are't beautiful,

we have to believe-- "i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, i know that full well."

why do i care about who likes me,

if boys think i'm pretty, 

how my instagram is doing,

when i have a Creator that loves me  p e r f e c t l y ?

why would i settle for likes through a phone screen when i can hold in my hand the greatest love letter ever written-- and written to me?

through Him, we are fully known and deeply loved.

we don't have to put on a front for Jesus. (not even that "natural" no make up look.)

girl, listen to me.

you are marvelously loved, and there is nothing accidental about you.

become less distracted by the unending cycle of comparison and insecurity, and become more captivated by who Jesus is, and what His purpose is for you.

empty yourself from all of the worldly expectations and lies that weigh your heart down, and let Him fill you up with truth.

through Him you are--

loved. purely and widely.

chosen.

pursued.

valued.

set apart.

and  b e a u t i f u l , far above our understanding.

God didn't create you to look like her.

He created you to look like HIM.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

From World War 2 to Barbecue (And everything in-between!), This Shero did it all

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Maxine Sykes

“She was doing the right thing and she was going to make it no matter what the men said, or the obstacles that were thrown in front of her. She said she always knew she would make it in the end,” Van Skyes remembers his mother Maxine Sykes as he reminisces on her life, and her legacy.
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Maxine and her son, Van
Van, now 62, tells a captivating story of a Shero with passion, determination, and a lot of perseverance in a time that was anything but easy.
Maxine Helen Deerman was born on April 10, 1921. From a young age, Maxine was a worker.
Her love of entrepreneurship began at age nine during the Great Depression as she began selling biscuits on the street. “I think it sparked something in her. Somewhere in there, there was a little seed planted,” Van says.
She later started working at a grocery store, where she met Bob, the bread man that later became her husband.
Soon after Maxine and Bob were married, he was sent off to fight in the war. For the first 3 years of their marriage, they hardly saw each other.
Maxine became apart of the Civilian Workforce, which was largely women with a few men. She later became a part of making aircrafts, in which she was especially talented.
However, after the men came back in 1945 after the war was over, the women lost all of their jobs. “But there were women who didn’t want to stay home and wash the clothes,” Van states.
In 1967, Maxine and Bob finally decided to go into business- together. They decided to open a cafe, and traded equity from their car for a one year lease in the building. “That was the generation’s source of pride,” Van says. “My momma loved cars.”
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Maxine and her husband, Bob
To start out their cafe, Maxine went around looking for construction sites so she could hand menus to the workers.  Van laughs, “My daddy would have never done that- she’s the one that understood we had to have some revenue.”
After Bob worked at KFC, they started their resturaunt. “My daddy knew he could do with barbecue what they were doing with chicken,” Van states. This was beginning of something much larger than either of them could have ever dreamed.
They wanted to lease where an ice-cream place was located, and it was because of Maxine that they obtained that spot. She was the one that convinced the the man to let them start their restaurant there, but he had a catch.
They had to break the blue law- which said that nothing was allowed to be open on Sunday. She told him that they had a partner they were working with named Jesus Christ, and that he “didn’t do the Sunday thing,” Van says.
They created 14 franchises, and became wildly popular.
However, in March 1970, Bob had a debilitating stroke. He never talked again and was paralyzed on his right side. This was a horrible time for the family “This is where the hero part comes in- this is where mom earns her wings,” Van says.
Everyone in Maxine’s life was telling her to give up. Van says, “People were telling her, you know you can’t do this- this is humanly impossible.”
Despite the opinions, Maxine decided to continue with the family business, for Van and Bob. “The source of her strength wasn’t stubbornness or foolishness, it was faith,” Van says.
However, when Maxine needed a loan, she was declined because Bob was not present. It was like 1945 all over again. Van states, “If you had an idea and ambition you could get started. The only thing that would hold you back is that you had to have a man attached.”
Maxine found a male friend who helped her obtain the loan, and she ran the business as long as she could.
Although Bob died in 1992, he was unable to help Maxine since his stroke in 1970, which made Maxine the head person at Bob Skyes Bar-B-Q. Maxine signed her checks ‘Mrs. Bob Sykes.’ She said, ‘I worked hard for that name.’
Maxine passed away in 2014 at age 93, but her impact on her son continues to inspire him, and many others.
On her gravestone, Van wrestled with an epitaph but finally decided on “Wife, Mother, Entrepreneur.”
Van gets choked up telling his mother’s story. “It was a strong woman that made me who I am today,” he said.
Upon asking Van what Maxine would say to women today struggling to get their business going, Van said “She would say persevere– just keep going. She had the door shut on her face so many times in so many different ways.”
Maxine often mentioned that her name was never in lights. Bob surprised her one with a clock outside of the restaurant that had both of their names in neon lights.  He told her “Well there you go, your name is now  in lights”.  To this day, you can still find the clock hanging inside of this restaurant.
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The clock still hangs in the restaurant today
“Mama always said she succeeded in a man’s world,” Van recalls. And what a true statement that is.
Maxine Skyes was a business woman, a family woman, and a woman of Faith. Perhaps we can all learn something from her, like Van did. “Everything that I do goes back to what she taught me all those years,” Van stated.
Because of this one woman’s courageous actions and perseverance, she achieved more than anyone thought possible, and influenced everyone that knew her. To this day, her story inspires young women all over the world, some that never even had the opportunity to meet her- like myself.
Hearing Van’s story of his mother truly moved me, so I hope her story inspires you to chase your dreams, even when they seem impossible. Maxine sure did.
_________________________________________________________________________
**This was an article I wrote for my summer blogging internship at Girlspring but I wanted to share it on my personal blog as well because it was such an inspirational and moving story. I thank Van for sharing his story with me of his mother, as I had the privilege of speaking with him. 

Thursday, April 6, 2017

A Response Letter To The Girl Sleeping With My Boyfriend


Last week, I came across an article by Cosmopolitan titled, "I am the girl sleeping with your boyfriend" on Snapchat. Now, a Cosmo article (and Snapchat articles..) being problematic is nothing new. However, it seems as if the main point of this article is to humanize, and sympathize with, the "other woman". The woman that wrote this article is condescending, lacking in guilt, and mean. Of course, there are many problems with this article. Although I read it over a week ago, it has stuck with me and I want to share my thoughts. Therefore, I give you my response letter to the girl sleeping with my boyfriend.

The anonymous author starts out by saying-


"It’s 11:03pm and I’m texting your boyfriend. Well, not necessarily YOU, the person reading this, but someone like you. A girl who has no idea the guy she loves is currently telling me what he wants to do to me."

Now, if that first paragraph doesn't make your stomach drop, I don't know what will.  The idea that there is a woman out there that you don't even know about, that is talking to your boyfriend, is beyond horrifying. It sounds like something that would only exist in nightmares but unfortunately, people cheat on their significant others every day. "But Mallory, texting isn't cheating!" Let me explain- and this is my personal opinion- if you're having to hide, sneak, or delete texts, you're doing something wrong. If you're talking to a girl behind your girl's back, that's sketchy. And if you're having any sort of emotional, sexual, or deep connections- you're cheating. If you have a friendship with a girl of the opposite sex and you are texting her things you don't want your girlfriend to know, you need to take a step back. You might not be doing anything physical, but emotional infidelity is just as toxic as physical infidelity (maybe even worse).

"I’m not a whore, although you might want to call me one. I’m not even a b**** - I’m actually a pretty nice person. I have friends and family who love me, and I don’t fit the ‘other woman’ stereotype."


Look. She might not be a whore, or any other bad name you can think of. Name calling is for toddlers. What she is is a woman who is lacking in conscience. She is a woman that doesn't know her boundaries. She is a woman that doesn't care if she gets in the middle of somebody else's relationship, and that is a problem. It doesn't matter if she doesn't fit the "other woman stereotype", she is the other woman regardless. This paragraph's purpose is probably to make us realize that she could be a good person. She's "pretty nice!" But nice women don't talk to guys that have girlfriends. Nice women respect other women.

"There’s a definite ego boost to having a guy like you enough to cheat on his girlfriend. That must mean I’m pretty right?"

I may have just thrown up in my mouth. The logic of this woman is full with fallacies. The first error in thinking is that physical attractiveness is the main reason for cheating. This mindset can be toxic to women that lack in self-confidence, or struggle with insecurity. There will always be pretty girls, but that doesn't mean your boyfriend wants to make out with her. Plus, it doesn't matter what she looks like, if your boyfriend wants to cheat, he's going to cheat. If he has made up his mind to cheat on you, it doesn't matter how attractive you, or she, is- he's going to cheat.

"What never ceases to surprise me is how many guys ARE so willing to cheat. These aren’t ‘players’ that I go for... They’re just normal men who love their girlfriends but, for some reason, take only the tiniest of pushes to enter the realm of infidelity."


This is undoubtedly the paragraph that made me the most angry. Let me get one thing straight- if a man loves you, he will not cheat on you. If a man loves you, he will not cheat on you. If a man loves you, he will not cheat on you.  Although it may have been the woman that pushed him to cheat, it was his decision, and his decision alone. You can spend all your time hating the "other woman" and how she destroyed your flawless relationship but hear me when I say this- if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else. If your man is not 100% committed to you, that is his fault. Not the other woman's. Men (and women) will be faced with temptations every day- it's up to them what to do with it. And if you're in a relationship where a guy is cheating on you or treating you like you are disposable- leave him. He should be held responsible for his actions, and you should have enough respect for yourself to walk away. It doesn't matter if he says he loves you. It doesn't matter if he was drunk. It doesn't matter if she seduced him. A man that loves you will not cheat on you. If he does, let him go. You are not losing much.

"Then again, maybe it’s simple; maybe humans just aren’t made to be monogamous. At least that’s what Eamon*, the American pilot I met in a South American hostel, told his girlfriend over FaceTime... just before he asked her if he could sleep with me. Spoiler alert: she said no. Double Spoiler alert: we did it anyway."


So now, humans aren't even made to be monogamous? False. People may think that cheating is exhilarating. People may think one night stands are the "college thing to do." People may think they don't want to settle down because they could be missing out on so much. But let me tell you, the happiness I have experienced going through life with one human is unexplainable. You may think that being with multiple people is "cool", but trust me, you will meet someone one day that makes you wish you hadn't even held hands with somebody else before. The idea that human's aren't made to be monogamous is such a 21st century idea. The whole example of the pilot she slept with against his girlfriend's will just goes to show how much sympathy she lacks for the woman he's in a relationship with. You might read this to yourself and become paranoid that this type of girl will come along and steal your boyfriend too, but no one can steal your boyfriend if he doesn't want to leave. Not even the hottest girl in the world can take or "steal" your boyfriend from you. He isn't a handbag, he's a living human being with his own brain. He can't be stolen from you, but he can choose to walk away. And if he does, let him walk. Faithful men still exist in this world, and they are worth your wait. Trust me.

"What I want to make clear, is that I'm not sitting here cackling evilly and trying to break you up - I just seem to be missing the part of my body that should feel empathy for you....You aren't real to me. I haven't met you. I don't know you. And somehow that lets me do this."

Let this be a message to all females- if a guy has a girlfriend, it doesn't matter or not if you know her, you should respect her. Same goes to males- you should respect other's relationships. There are 7 billion people in the world, and you want to get in the middle of someone's relationship? She states that she isn't trying to break you up, but there aren't many more solutions to this problem. Respect other people's relationships. What's yours is yours, and what's their's is their's.

"The reality of being the sidechick is that as exciting and as flattering as it may be at first, the realisation that I will always be second best eventually takes the shine off, and things inevitably fizzle out. Then it’s on to the next shiny new already-someone’s-boyfriend, and so the vicious cycle continues. Until I find my happily ever after, of course."

Upon reading this article, I had hoped it would have some sort of repentant ending, but I guess I shouldn't expect any less than someone that seduces someone else's boyfriend. This post was written by an anonymous author so I don't know your name but girlfriend, listen to me. You will never find your happily ever after if you're looking at men that have already found theirs. If a man is committed to a woman, you should never come in between that. You don't have to always be second best. You can be with someone that puts you first. You can be with someone faithful. You can have so much better than what you're experiencing. But you'll never find that if you keep looking for it in other people's relationships.