Sunday, December 21, 2014

A feminists thoughts on "Chivalry is dead because feminism killed it"


Scrolling through twitter, I came across this post on my newsfeed. Posted just over an hour ago, this tweet already has over 2,000 retweets and 6,000 favorites. My eye was immediately drawn after seeing the word feminist, and I was appalled as I continued to read what it had to say.






 Now before I get responses of people debating me left and right, hear me out. I don't agree with the girl who's name has been blurred. Shocking, right?! A feminist that doesn't hate all men?! A feminist that disagrees with another feminist?! A feminist that can think rationally in terms of both sexes?! Absolutely unheard of! My problem is with the Cloyd Rivers account. Cloyd has nearly 1 million followers on twitter that will most likely see this post. Although I strongly agree that each person is entitled to their own opinion, I cannot agree with the way Cloyd goes about this.

I am a feminist. I love being a feminist. I love opening my mouth and always speaking up for women. And I am sick of having a negative connotation attached to the word feminist. A dictionary definition of a feminist is someone whom fights for the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. And what's so wrong with that? Yet somehow, whenever I tell someone I'm a feminist, I get a mixure of three reactions. 
1. *Rolls eyes* Oh, she's that girl.
2. Derogatory laughter
3. Confusion as to why I identify as a feminist in the first place
And I'm sick of being looked down upon for wanting equality for women. I will never back down. I will never shut my mouth. I will never stop fighting. I will never change my mind. I am a feminist because the very word feminism makes people turn a blind eye. 

My biggest issue with Cloyd is his misrepresentation of feminism. Cloyd does not just call out the one girl that directly messaged him, he targets an entire group of people (assuming that there are still men in this world that identify with feminism, because believe it or not, it's possible!) With any group of people that share a common belief whether it be religion, culture, race, or even feminists, there will be separate opinions. Not all people in a group have the same exact ideals and beliefs. There are differences. For example, there are multiple different types of feminism including liberal feminism, radical feminism, socialist feminism, cultural feminism, and more. And for Cloyd to target feminists of all kinds and to group them into one "chivalry killing" cult makes me sick. One of my favorite quotes concerning feminism would have to be by Dale Spender. She says: “Feminism has fought no wars.  It has killed no opponents.  It has set up no concentration camps, starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties. Its battles have been for education, for the vote, for better working conditions…for safety on the streets…for child care, for social welfare…for rape crisis centers, women’s refuges, reforms in the law. If someone says, “Oh, I’m not a feminist,”  I ask, “Why, what’s your problem?”” I love this quote because it gets down to the reality that feminism doesn't hurt anybody. Feminism is the radical notion that women are people too. The fact that people are debating and hating on feminism so much just proves the need for it. And the fact that this account is now teaching young adults all over the world that feminism is a bad thing is disgusting to me. Just because one woman decided to state her opinion, suddenly all feminists are to blame for "killing chivalry"? This girl is not the spokesperson for feminism, so why are we treating her like she is? For the record, I do disagree with her opinion. I believe that obviously women are capable of opening their own door and paying for their own things. Because, get this, we're humans too! I don't even believe that this is a gender issue. I currently have a boyfriend of my own whom offers to pay for my things every meal we go to. However, I have no problem with paying for my own. And paying for his whenever he lets me. I appreciate that he respects me enough to open my car door, and I appreciate the fact that I know I am fully aware to open it myself. He respects me enough to let me pay for myself when I want. And he pays for me when I want him to. That being said, he knows very clearly that I am a feminist and we have talked about these things. I would never expect for him to pay for my every meal and open every door that appears in front of me. We should not expect these things from all men, and especially just towards women. Men should hold the door for other men. You should do nice things for one another and have respect towards everyone you meet, regardless of gender.


Cloyd amazingly goes on with his final statement to actually contradict everything he's previously said! After multiple tweets and screenshots about the importance of men treating women with respect because its the "gentlemanly thing to do", he turns around and makes a derogatory comment towards the woman. His joke about her with airplane windows is the real problem with chivalry today. Men should respect women, and women should respect men, because we are all members of the human race. Not for anything that we've done. Often times, men use the nice guy facade until they get what they want and when they don't, they complain of being "friend zoned". (Friendzoning is a completely separate post that I will be creating soon) Cloyd is so quick to defend men and how respectful they always are, until a woman disagrees with him. And the second this girl stated her opinion, he insulted her intelligence. That goes to show his character. Some people are nice simply because others are nice back. So the next time you want to say that feminism killed chivalry, remember that chivalry isn't chivalry if you want something out of it.