Now, let me clarify. I am a feminist and I am all about being independent and so-forth, except when it comes to this. I hold true to the fact that while you are in this relationship, he must be greater than you are. You must do everything according to what he says. You have to live for life for him. After all, his opinion defines you. Now this might seem problematic, but it is actually the opposite. It's wonderful. Because I'm not talking about a relationship with just anybody. I'm not talking about the boy that broke your heart in high school or the past marriage you were in that failed. I'm talking about the very important and real relationship with our Creator and King. The relationship that affects every aspect of your life- and as it should. The relationship between you and your Heavenly Father. (for some girls, the only father they've ever had). The only relationship we can be in that demonstrates perfect and flawless love.
What would you do if I told you there was someone out there that loved you so purely and intimately that they would give their life for you? That they would only speak words of encouragement to you? That they would be always be kind to you, always make you feel beautiful, always love you selflessly? Would you believe me? Or would you turn away, never realizing what was right in front of you? What if I told you that this "someone" was real, and that they want to have your heart if you would only open up to it?
Women and girls especially spend their whole lives seeking approval from others. It doesn't matter what we're doing- we want people to like us. We crave approval, we need it. We never stop searching for it. Unfortunantly, we can never be satisfied with this world. It will never be able to give us what we need. Maybe we lose the game for the team. Or we don't feel good enough about our weight. Or we lose our dream job. Or that guy broke up with us because we weren't "pretty" enough. Or our marriage fails. Something always seems to go wrong. We put immense pressure on ourselves. We have to fit gender roles, we have to make money, we have to be pretty. We take personality tests, career tests, educational tests. But ladies, I have good news. The only thing that matters in this torn up, messy life is what He thinks of you. And let me tell you what that is.
Psalm 139:14 God says,“You am fearfully and wonderfully made."
Jesus encourages us in Romans 8:18, "You have a glorious future"
God tells me in Psalm 17, "I am the apple of His eye."
In Deuteronomy 7:6, God tells me that I am "His treasured possession."
Genesis 1:27 lets me know "I created you in my own image"
Romans 8:39 reminds us of our stability in Him, "You are utterly secure in me; nothing will be able to separate you from my love in Christ Jesus"
Jesus reminds me I have worth in Matthew 10:31 "You are more valuable than many sparrows"
Psalm 8:5 says, "I have crowned you with glory and honor as the pinnacle and final act of the six days of creation"
In John 14:18 God tells us "You are no longer orphans. You belong to me"
1 John 3:1, God tells us he loves us "And I love you as a perfect Father"
So, as I repeat, the only thing that matters is His opinion of you. I want to shout this from the rooftops. I want to tell daughters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, women from all around the world- His opinion does define you. The way He views you, treats you, thinks of you, talks to you, judges you- it's all that really matters.
Now, the next time you feel as if your failures are defining you, or that you'll never amount to anything, or that you wont compare to other women- I urge you to dive into scripture headfirst. You need to know what God thinks of you, rather than guess what people think of you.
Ladies: listen to me. Don't settle for the guy that sends you an apology over text when you have the ultimate 1,900 page love note from the One who created you. Don't put so much pressure on yourself in every aspect of your life, learn to bask in the stillness and goodness of the Lord. Don't allow yourself to lower your standards for the man that tells you he loves you while demeaning you, let yourself feel the love from the One that is strong enough to sacrifice himself for you. Don't doubt yourself when God reminds you that you are His masterpiece. Don't define yourself by your mistakes, allow Christ to re-define you. Don't fall into the hook-up culture expecting to find someone to make you feel less lonely, fall into the love of Christ and never be alone again.